For the guy who likes turning a 10-minute stop into a three-hour constitutional symposium. This shirt ensures that every K-9 within a five-mile radius gets a 'hit' just by catching a scent of your upholstery.

Maybe you’re a First Amendment Auditor trying to drum up some fresh content, or perhaps you just have a fetish for reciting the 4th Amendment through a quarter-inch window crack. Say goodbye to those 'lucky' warning tickets and go ahead and Sharpie that court date onto your forearm, because this threads-and-ink masterpiece will make every rookie cop’s blood boil and have the seasoned vets slow-rolling by your studio apartment at 3:00 AM.

Product Features:

• Maximum Friction: Expertly tailored to trigger a 'Request for Supervisor' within sixty seconds of contact.

• Tactical Visibility: Fluorescent enough to be seen from the back of a cruiser, yet stylish enough for the defendant's table.

• The 'Qualified Immunity' Quencher: Guaranteed to make a Deputy’s eye twitch so hard he forgets his Miranda rights.

• Vibe Check: Pairs perfectly with a dashcam, a handheld gimbal, and a general sense of being "unbeholden to the corporate maritime jurisdiction."